Well I haven’t updated in a few days because nothing really has happened apart from no sex, a few arguments and sofa guy staying with me the whole time. He was meant to be going home on Saturday afternoon to see his parents who had been away on holiday for 10 days but he never bothered to go back. He phoned them a few times and each time promised he would be home the next day. The next day came and he made his excuses to stay here.
I’m not complaining as I do enjoy spending time with him but it has been very rollercoaster like, mood swings galore. He drank Sunday afternoon and evening while I went to my parents for a roast dinner. Monday he stayed off the booze along with tuesday. I was very happy about that and thought that things were finally going to change. Wednesday he wanted a bottle of wine, just the one he added. Last night he had three bottles of wine and today (Friday) he’s had 2 bottles of wine before heading home to see his family and then out in town on the piss. He said he might come back here again tonight which if he does it will be within the next hour. I thought i’d stay up as there really isn’t much point in going to sleep incase he turns up but if he isn’t here by 3am I will get my head down.
My sleep routine is pretty messed up at the moment, staying up until 5am and then sleeping until midday or 1pm. It’s making me look very tired, black bags under my eyes. I am also bleeding inbetween my period so I’m a little worried about that. I’m going to the doctors next week to get checked out.
I still haven’t had sex. I think it’s about 6 weeks now. I questioned him about it a few times and he says he knows he has neglected me and that it’s him, not me. I need to have more belief in myself that I have a lot to offer. That was quite a sweet thing to say but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m not getting sex. The funny thing is I had sex more often with my ex when I didn’t fancy him!
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